Well, this may have come to a surprise to some, I assure you, no one was more surprised than myself! Coming back from CA a few weeks ago, John and I were geared up to start another round of fertility treatments, in the hopes of having our second child. The drugs coordinate with my cycle, so we kept waiting for the proper time to begin. We waited and waited and I thought it was odd, that what I had expected, had not yet come. So out of the blue, I decided to take a pregnancy test, I had stashed away in our toiletry box. I had thrown away the directions (this test being a bit old!), so once I had taken the test and immediately saw 2 lines, I thought 'what does this mean? Am I pregnant?' So I googled pregnancy tests on the computer to see if I could find out, what a line in both windows meant. Positively on the sites it was pregnant! I being in shock, thought no, could I really be pregnant?! So once again I scrounged around in the bathroom, in search of another test. I couldn't believe it, I had a second and more obvious one that stated on the test, pregnant or not. This also showed the expiration date, it was still good! I wondered if I should wait until the morning, when my HCG levels were higher, but I thought, no, if I'm pregnant it will show up anytime. So once again, took the test and immediately the lines told of the positive results. I was thrilled! Yet, still in shock. After being married for almost 8 years and never getting pregnant on our own, you can imagine I was still in shock, even with the evidence!
I then called a dozen places trying to get a blood test for that day, wanting to know the results that day as well. Waiting was torture! Finally, through a few run arounds with several doctors, I went to the lab and had my blood taken. The 2 hours of processing the blood were maddening! I took Caleb to the park, McDonald's, went shopping, all in vain trying to make time fly by! Finally, I called the lab and they had the results. I asked, 'Is it positive or negative?' And they said, we don't know, we only have a number. A number?! 'Okay, what is the number?' Then they answered, my HCG level was 1,868. Not remembering exactly what this meant from my last baby, I quickly got to my computer and googled HCG levels. Imagine my surprise, to find any level over 25 means you're pregnant!
I hadn't breathed a word about this to John, he was completely in the dark, about my pregnancy and blood tests. Because this was maybe our only chance for surprise, I wanted to make it a good one! So I went to the store, bought and pink and blue balloon, and tied the pregnancy test that said 'pregnant' to them. I left the balloons in his car and waited anxiously for him to call me. Later, my phone started ringing and I thought, he's found the balloons! But, he was actually calling to say he'd be leaving in about 20 minutes or so to come home. Ahhh, it was so hard not to tell! I then waited for his call. Finally, 30 minutes later it happened. John was sooooo surprised! He had at first thought, that someone was playing a practical joke on him. Who could have gotten into my locked car? Who would have done that? Conceiving naturally was so far out there to us, it was easy to believe anything, other than the truth! I explained to him that we were really pregnant, with 2 tests and a blood test to confirm, it was true! Even with this knowledge, we wanted to wait until we had an ultrasound, just to make sure. After all, I could have had two faulty tests and had my blood test switched with someone else! It was too exciting to believe. I had an ultrasound done at 6 weeks and there on the screen, was our little baby with heart beating! Well, kind of baby, at 6 weeks 4 days, it still resembles a tadpole. :-)
(I couldn't get the picture to rotate, but this is a shot at 6 weeks)
(Pictures I sent to family stating the news!)
On a sad note, I'm afraid not all has been well. That very same week that I had the ultrasound, my mom and her husband came to visit us. The day after they arrived, we were in downtown Bellingham, seeing a few sights, when all of the sudden, I knew something was wrong. Hurrying to a bathroom, I was scared to death to find I was soaked with blood. So much blood, it didn't seem possible that the baby was still viable. I called my doctor and was scheduled for an ultrasound that afternoon. I laid in bed, praying the bleeding would stop and went in for my appointment. My mom came with me, as at that time I needed support and didn't want to call John just yet. I wanted to first make sure our worst fears or our greatest hopes were confirmed. Up until that point, I was composed, but upon seeing the same ultrasound tech that had done my first ultrasound, just 2 days previous, I started crying. Into the room I went and we were heartened to find a strong heartbeat and closed cervix. Yay! But not so good, was the hemorrhage that could be clearly seen on the ultrasound. Spanning, what looked like half the uterus, was a sub-chorionic hemorrhage, the exact same thing I had with Caleb. Except, this one was even larger and I lost more blood, than what I had experienced with him. They gave us a 50/50 prognosis for survival or miscarriage. The bruised, clotted area, will either absolve back into the body, bleed out, or stay. It can increase or decrease in size. If the placenta is not able to attach properly because of this area, I will lose the baby. If the placenta attaches somewhat, but not fully, I will have placenta abruption and be at risk of having the baby or losing the baby at any time. If the placenta attaches low, I will have placenta previa, with all of those complications. Basically, with so much that could go wrong, we are praying for another miracle! When I was diagnosed with the same thing, during Caleb's pregnancy, the area absolved and I had a fairly normal pregnancy at the end (besides early contractions), going all the way up until 4 days, before the due date. I am hoping this will happen again.
(Flowers John sent me, the day after we found out I was pregnant)
I put myself on bed rest for a week, until my ultrasound today. I wanted to give this baby the best chance for survival. Going in today for my Dr.'s appointment and ultrasound, the hemorrhage is still just as large, the picture below is from today's appointment. The doctor gave us still a 50/50 chance of a miscarriage or the embryo's survival. I'm 8 weeks pregnant now and have so much longer to go! For now, we're just so happy for the news and wanted to share it with everyone else, even if it does end sadly. The more prayers out there in our behalf, the better, please keep us in your thoughts!
(On the bottom picture, you can see the gestational sac with the baby inside. The dark area below, 4.4 cm by 2.5 in measurement on the ultrasound, is the hemorrhage. You can see how large the area is, spanning more than half, almost double the size of the almost fetus. We're praying for another miracle!)
